Shades Of Blue
by God's Hands On The Wheel
Summary: The world Loz, Yazoo and Kadaj live in . Their moments . Might contain adult situations and spiritualerotic conversations , not suitable for children.All done on Massive Attack music .Yaoi in future Chapters.
1. Teardrop

**Chapter 01 - Teardrop**

**Done while listening to Teardrop by Massive Attack , one of the most beautiful songs in the world.**

They always were there for eachother , somehow . Even if Yazoo almost never spoke and moked him when he was crying , he knew that , if he was to lean on the edge of the bed at night and tears would start to flow down his cheeks , Yazoo would know ,he would wake up and come to him .

But Loz didn't want that . Sometimes he just wanted to be able not to be such a crybaby . But he couldn't help it , no matter how many times he tried to stop his tears from falling , they always ended up on his cheek , as the white velvet curtains of his room were blown away by the wind coming from outside the opened window , his tears fell , from his mako blue eyes , resting for short time on his high cheekbone , then , when another came , it joined with it and they both fell on his jaw , for a while standing in the air , then dripping down on his neck or on the floor .

He didn't knew how others felt when they were crying , but it was probably because all his cells were so different , he liked crying , he liked the feeling of relief and sweet dispair that came with it and the way the hot liquid fell on his cheeks then went cold all of the sudden , the way it looked so different from a normal water drop but it was pretty much just the same .

Loz rose from the edge of the bed and walked towards the window , taking aside the soft curtains with only a movement of his fingers .

The city was shining bright even if it was close to the morning . It seemed as if everyone was asleep though , barely few noises were heard coming from it . He liked silence , even if he was the loudest of all three of them. He liked the peace it bringed and the feeling of lonely comfort , he liked the way he heard his teardrops falling on the ground in dead silence of night .

He knew it before the light hand touched his shoulder that he was there . But he prefferd not to move , because he knew Yazoo didn't announced his presence if you were standing with your back at him and he preffered taking you by surprise , even if that meant touching you , a thing which Loz knew Yazoo didn't particulary liked .

His hands never gripped , his fingers just _brushed _, slender , long , with marble - like nails .

Yazoo hardly or if ever seemed completely present in this world , and when he was talking or doing anything else, it was just a gentle impulsion .

"Face so fair ... why are you crying ? " He heard his calm voice behind him .

Loz turned , with his tears in the corner of his eyes , but with an expression that didn't show anything much . He blinked as if confused .

"Just felt like crying ." He simply replied .

It surprised him having Yazoo here , even tough he knew he would come . Somehow , he and Yazoo shared a connection different from what he had with Kadaj . Loz and Yazoo seemed to connect , through invisible impulses and when he opened his eyes and turned , he always knew Yazoo would be right behind him , doing the same thing.

Yazoo didn't reply , but bent his head a bit , causing his silver locks to move a bit , as if saying " Ah...ok..."

He blinked , with the same lost and calm expression on his face , looking straight in Loz's eyes , as he always did .

Are you with us for real , Yazoo ? Loz would have asked .

They stood still for a while . They did that a lot , but since they have always been different they now knew how odd it looked to other people , but for them it was normal , the world moved around them rapidly , or in slow motion , and Loz could have spend a whole day watching Yazoo's silver locks of hair being blown away slowly by the wind in the dim blueish light , as well as he could spend hours tracing every line of Kadaj's face or watch his own hands as his bones moved underneath his skin .

Yazoo stepped closer to him and his cold hand touched his cheek as his face , with those eyes that looked directly into his , moved in closer and closer too .His eyes closed and his lips kissed the tear that was running down Loz's left cheek . His lips touched his skin , then his warm tongue wiped it away . Yazoo liked to feel skin , especially his brother's , as being the only one so similar to his own , and so , doing a bit more moves with his tongue than necessary , but he saw Loz closing his eyes as he touched him , and he felt him move , as his strong arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him closer , forcing him in a way so free , to kiss his other tears away , slowly , tear by tear , until they stopped falling .

Yazoo slipped from his arms like a serpent , but his figure just as lost somewhere out there , his eyes fixed on him .He blinked as he always did , slowly , and his palm , with its long fingers touched Loz's forehead , then he let them fall , on his eyes , cheeks and chin , parting away . It was a gesture only they shared , that meant whatever it may mean , but it meant only for them .

No one else could understand anything about either one of them three .

Yazoo then turned and left the room , as quietly as he came .

Loz turned to watch the city again for a moment or two before he went back to bed again .

Light started to come from towards the South , as the Sun was about to break out . All over the city , above it and under it , everywhere , shades of blue .


	2. Blood , Lush , Love , Lust

**Chapter 02 - Blood ,Lush , Love , Lust **

They could have had it either way they wanted . Someone could come and cook, clean , make dinner and breakfast , arrange their clothes and keep watch . But Yazoo kindly scolded all these things away , with both his brothers backing him up .

And thus , slowly , a quiet order was installed in the house and Yazoo found himself learning to cook and from time to time , Kadaj rolled up the sleeves of his black sweater and washed the dishes . Loz , barefoot , in his jeans and black T-shirt hummed a song as he was carrying out the garbage in black garbage sacks , and whisteled to the same tune when he moved the couch and the tables and all other furniture while Yazoo cleaned the rooms .

It made them feel closer to the world they have been brought to but in the same time distanced them from any other unnecessary human contact .

Yazoo frowned , looking at the herbs mixture boiling on the stowe . It looked odd , even though he had cooked it before but last time it didn't had this greenish color to it .He never liked doing it , but it was Loz's favourite .

" What is it ?" Loz came in the kitchen noticing his brother's frown .

Yazoo didn't reply , but dipped his finger in the hot mixture , enjoying the stingy pain it gave to him and as it crawled up to his other fingers and his palm , then looked at it as it started driping lower and lower down his finger .

" I don't think I got it right this time ... " He said in his low voice .

Loz tilted his head a bit before taking Yazoo's hand into his and his mouth touched his finger , as his tongue slipped vaguely on it also . Yazoo stood pale and calm , with no expression on his face , waiting for an answer .

"It's just as good as always " Loz replied , smiling and exiting the room .

Yazoo turned back to the stowe and dipped the same finger back and tasted it too . Yeah , it was ok .

But his finger didn't left the tip of his lips until he heard Kadaj 's voice from the other room .

Walking across the large hallway , at a slow pace , as he always did , Yazoo was ready for anything .

Lately , Kadaj suffered more than one transformation , and even if many were internal ones , it didn't skipped the pain and panic attacks from the smaller brother . He and Loz been through that also , but he knew Kadaj 's adolescence would be a whole lot different than theirs . Because he had another bit of something he couldn't quite explain .And he didn't care that much , the only thing that bothered him was his pain , because it was a pain that cut right through him also , and he always been there , with his calm and glacial eyes , trying to freeze Kadaj's pain , but never succeded greately at it . Loz was the only one that managed to get the small one in his powerful arms , lock him tight and keep him there until he calmed down and the pain was nothing but a quiet thud in the back of his mind .

As he looked for the place where Kadaj was in , he finally found it as being the bathroom and entered it pushing the door to the wall , expecting the worse .

But Kadaj didn't seem to be in more pain than usual , the only thing that didn't fit was Loz that was not clutching to him , but he was bend all over , looking confused with both his hands on Kadaj's hair and face, looking at his ear .

"What are you doing ?" Yazoo asked.

" I wanted to pierce my ear ,and Loz helped me , but now it's stuck and Loz says it's bleeding." Kadaj said , in his deep , calm tone . He showed no sign of pain , but Loz took his hands away and Yazoo saw his fingers were covered in a bit of blood .

He stepped between the two , with Loz behind him , watching his every move and evaluated the situation . The earring was beautiful indeed, a work of art , a silver tribal motif , so shiny it almost made him lose himself in the detail .He figured Loz must have had the same reaction and did a small mistake .

He put three of his fingers on his ear and pushed suddenlly and the earring went on the other side in a blink . Kadaj didn't even blink at it , just his eyes moved to the corner to see Yazoo .

"It's done ?"

"It's perfect." Yazoo replied . He brushed away his brother's locks from his face and touched his earlobe with his tongue and lips . He sucked on it slowly and finished when he knew the blood stopped running , and then kissed his ear...no he didn't kiss it , he just brushed it with his lips in such a way Kadaj felt it as if it was nothing but a breeze of hot air .

The small one then got up and looked in the mirror , as he pulled his silver locks away from that part of his face to let his ear in sight . It fitted him and he knew it .

He smiled at the other two then got out of the bathroom without saying a word.

Well it was no need for words anyway , they barely ever spoke . They never needed words.

Yazoo turned to Loz and gave one of his faint smiles people could barely see , and Loz smiled back to him as they started walking out of the bathroom and heading towards the living room .

"Kadaj is growing up . " Yazoo whispered . He didn't whisper...he talked , but Loz knew other people would have regarded it as a whisper.

"Yes..." He replied .

Yazoo had a fear about Kadaj growing up , a fear induced to him ,because he knew deep inside that Kadaj will remain Kadaj , no matter what else happened to him .

He stopped in the middle of the hallway causing Loz to stop too , and turned to look at him over his shoulder .

The taller man said nothing , but brushed away the hair from his face and leaned his cheek on his head for a couple of moments . Just a few moments...

He knew what Yazoo was thinking about , of course he knew . And he reasurred him everything will be alright .


	3. Wicked Souls

**Chapter 03 - Wicked Souls**

Kadaj shifted , twisting the pale blue sheet around his body.

He had a pain inside him , he couldn't locate the exact spot, but it was there, lurking ...

His body was ok for now , but he feared another attack . They were horrbile , like this slimy creature was crawling out from inside him , pulling his skin , scratching his insides to get out , like a trapped animal . He was afraid of it but he would never admit it . And if Loz wasn't there to grip his shoulders or keep him tight , he didn't knew what he would have done . Yazoo couldn't do anything , but put his hands on his face and speak to him until it was over .

He always had Loz there , he couldn't imagine one attack without Loz's arms around him to keep him steady .

It scared the shit out of him , even to remember them .

He shifted again , but his eyes were opened and he couldn't close them .

He felt that pain , spreading , like a smal , thin wire , like wire of pale smoke , threatening ...

Kadaj jumped from the bed , as if something had scared him and threw the sheets on the floor , as his face grimaced , trying hard not to cry, and locks of silver hair covered his face .

His hand reached his forehead in a cliche gesture , trying to think about something else. But whenever he felt it , it wouldn't give him peace , no mater what he tried .

Dizzy , dream-like , he exited the room , leaving the door opened , afraid to touch anything that connected him to his room , and proceeded to the first door he saw and opened it without hesitation .

On the otherside of the room , he laid still under the sheets the same shade of blue as his , breathing equally in an undisturbed sleep .

" Loz..."

It was enough of him to whisper , and as if the tremble of his voie covered the other sounds of the night , he opened his eyes , wide awake and leaned in one hand as he rose to face Kadaj . He heard his breath , heavy and heard him panting , as if his heartbeats could alter the energy waves in the room . He knew the signs all too well , and , as he stood on the bed like that , he turned his palms on the outside and stretched his arms a bit , thus telling him to come on , before it's too late .

Kadaj pushed the door causing it to close out of inertia and got on the bed , proceeding first with his knee ,and then falling in Loz's lap with his upper body .

In the same second , Yazoo entered the room and looked the the image with his tired eyes and he looked , just for a second , like he was going to cry . Doing the same gesture as Kadaj and pushing the door closed , he headed towards the bed as silent as he came and went up , his shoulder next to Loz's as the older man pulled Kadaj on his stomach, and he stretched on the bed . They could do nothing but wait , if something was to happen .

Yazoo followed , his head lower, on the same line as Loz's shoulder , as his feet brushed the floor.

And nothing was heard .

The world followed its course below , the glittering lights of the city moved , and sheets twisted and turned in other beds ,but they stood almost still , as Loz touched Yazoo's locks of hair that were spreaded all over around him and on the pillow . He stroked them and twisted them around his fingers as the other man stood with his eyes fixated on Kadaj . After a while he reached to him and pushed his hair out of his face and with his finger caressed his cheek and the boy finally looked up , as he seemed to be recovering . Yazoo gave him a faint smile , he barely saw in the dim light . It was a comfort smile , telling him to let go , whatever happened because him and Loz would be here either way .

Kadaj's eyes mellowed , and they looked just like a child's now , they didnt had that coldness to them , nor his face seemed petrified in a frown .

The small one moved up, leaning now on Loz's arm that was all in Yazoo's hair . He faced him and his hand went into his hair too and leaned to him and caressed his lips with his , in a gesture of thankfullness . And he didn't stop , and his tongue went in and Yazoo's warmth overwhelmed him , as he felt Loz's hand from behind over his chest , his lips on his hair and then on his neck , then his chin rested on the rop of his head, as he was taller than him, and Kadaj was smaller and smaller between the two of them.

There was nobody else in this world that could ever understand ...

He breathed.

Yazoo slipped his hand on Kadaj's waist , where Loz's ended up too , as his wrist twsited a bit and his long fingers caught a tender grip on Loz's arm , as his head rested next to Kadaj's.

Loz's fingers were touching Yazoo's forehead and caressed it gently , slowly , with irregular moves .

Until even that movement stopped and sleep fell over them like a black curtain , chasing away all dreams and all pain .


End file.
